Someone To Walk With

Sometimes I feel bogged down in following Him. I’m there right now.

I popped online a few minutes ago and Googled Francis Chan. I used to follow him a lot and listen to his old sermons, but its been a while.  And I don’t know why, because I always am uplifted by what he talks about.

I found his blog today, and the things he’s doing are, well, I guess they mystify me. He only does stuff I’ve read about in, yes, scripture, but to see it actually happen, for some reason surprises me. Inspires me.

My problem is that I need someone to walk with. Jesus is there, but a brother to guide me, mentor me, and kick me in the seat are really what I need, what I want.

Someone to help me put the pieces in my own life together for Jesus.

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A Week Away

Sorry for the week away, and after I just got started!

Actually, I’m not sorry. It was a good week, and highly due to the cause of my abrupt blog hiatus. This past week my family did a week long “fast” from entertainment. Not abstaining from anything fun or entertaining, just the electronic, time consuming, fry your brain, wasting an hour on Facebook to check a two sentence comment, type entertainment.

No TV

No computers

No video games

No computers

No radio

No computers

Did I say no computers?

We do run a business, so computers for business only was allowed. But that even took willpower. I didn’t realize how much time I wasted while “working”.

No, we just played card games, puzzles, read books, cleaned stuff (actually we really cleaned, and just about everything got really cleaned), oh yes, and we talked. I forget that talking to pass the time can actually be fun.

My wife is especially neat to talk to. I forget this because we usually only talk when we are doing something, as in, parenting, grocery shopping, decision making, fighting, etc. But when we ran out of these things to talk about, we talked more like we did before, you guessed it, marriage.

Sadly, the TV access we have now is all my fault. When I lost my last job, we cut everything, cable included. TV time was limited to an occasional movie. That is until, feel my pain guys, football. One worthless football game that I thought I needed to watch ruined everything. I went out and bought an antenna for the tube, and instantly flushed our peaceful evenings down the toilet.

I have fought to get cable out, and finally did, and then I open the door, and begin the fight again.

….genius….

So anyway, I am going to try to be back for a while. See you soon.

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Matthew 11:28-30

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke on you and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and my load is not hard to carry.” -Jesus

Isa 45:22
John 7:37
Matt 23:4
Micah 6:6-8
Rom 7:22-25
Gal 5:1
Isa 48:17-18
John 15:10-14

I am working on memorizing this statement of Jesus in Matthew. Looking through a few commentaries on this passage, one statement stuck out, which applies to me. “The ones who respond to the invitation are those who are burdened by their own spiritual bankruptcy and the weight of trying to save themselves by keeping the law.”

Oh, how I’ve tried to change! I just don’t have the power. I don’t have the will-power, the focus, the determination, the drive, nor the ability. Oh wretched man that I am. But I know who will save me from this dying body!

Prayer

Lord, work on my heart and teach me as I meditate on these words of Jesus. Please keep your words in my mind and write them on my heart. And Father, take the burden of self-righteousness from me. Let me rest in you. There is no other help but you. My attempts to be good have failed, injuring my family and straining relationships. My strength is gone, help me trust in you.

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The Person I Can Become

I’ve begun reading the book “Revolution of Character” which is written to help you “Discover Christ’s Pattern for Spiritual Transformation” by Dallas Willard with Don Simpson.

Each chapter has questions, exercises, and meditations which I want to go through here, because so far the book looks like a good starting point for my endeavor.

He emphasises an important point in Chapter 1, that “our aim is not first to act differently but to become different in our inner being“.

Question 1 asks for a vision of the person I can become. I imagine myself:

  1. Having constant communion with God.
  2. Heeding the Spirit when faced with temptation.
  3. Speaking hard words, and being courageous when I am normally a coward.
  4. Reacting when I know what is right, instead of waiting for confirmation.
  5. Loving others genuinely and enthusiastically.

Question 3 asks me to identify my positive and negative thoughts about this. The positive is that writing this list gives me hope, courage, and my heart races. The negative is that my heart races, and fear begins to set in. Confrontation is a given in this. Confrontation with others, and myself.

Prayer

Father, as you build my vision of what you can accomplish in my heart, help me to cooperate with your Spirit. There are others who need me to be like your Son, my wife, my children, but also I need this. All of my attempts to change what I do and how I act have failed. Lord, cleanse me and create in me a new heart. Change me, from the inside out. Fix the mess I’ve made, in my heart, my mind, and my home. Amen.

Meditation

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke on you and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and my load is not hard to carry.” -Jesus (Matthew 11:28-30)

Final thoughts on this chapter are from this chapter. “We’re not just learning how to be nicer versions of our old selves. We’re dealing radically with the fundamental wrongness of human life left to itself and introducing the kingdom of righteousness that is Christ into the depths of our heart. It is the inner life that counts.”

I’m ready for a change.

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Meet Me

Introductions are not comfortable for me. I’d rather know you and have some sort of relationship already in place. But that is one reason I’m not just giving in to temptation and  jumping right in.

My Background:

  • I am a serial avoider.
  • Confrontation sets my anxiety meter into the red.
  • I would rather be miserable than risk rejection.
  • I am a pleaser, to my own demise.
  • Fear controls much of my life.
  • I am sinful.
  • etc….
  • Married
  • 2 children
  • 1 life (that I’m letting slip away)

I’ve got to figure this out. And I’ve got to get focused.

I have a problem remembering, or maybe better put, I have a difficult time staying engaged in my life, marriage and children. That is one reason for this. I love writing, and I hope by recording my thoughts each day, or often, this will stay in my thoughts.

So there you are. My introduction. You surely don’t know me well yet, but maybe you will if you are interested in following me.

Slip me in to a couple of your prayers now and then. Comment and I’ll do the same.

Let us hope I don’t let myself get distracted and put down my sword and my shield.

Onward you coward! ONWARD!!!

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